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This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.

Having kids can add a whole other dimension to this one and since Craig and I didn’t have any, I can’t speak to that situation directly. To me, this was a part of my life and part of who I was (and still am). For some reason, my boyfriend wasn’t too bothered and months later as things began to get more serious I began to phase some of my late husband’s things out of obvious display, more out of respect for my new boyfriend than anything else.

My new boyfriend is now my new husband and I don’t keep pictures of Craig up in our new home except for one in my office, tucked beside my computer monitor where I do my writing.

You can’t love someone all your life, whispering their name out loud and in your thoughts a thousand times a day without inevitably letting it slip out. It did, however, make me more forgiving of my poor mother who was constantly trying to keep her five kids’ names straight.

Do you ever think about your husband when you are with him?

Did you take your wedding rings off before you started dating? It took me months and months to remove them permanently and in the end I opted to have them remade into a custom ring I could wear on my right hand so I’d always have that little piece of who I was before to carry with me as who I am now.

Have you ever called him by your late husband’s name? And not for anything special – just asking him to bring the laundry upstairs. Fortunately he had a good sense of humour about it (and a short memory).

It’s as though they are saying, maybe your husband died so that you could meet this new man and live happily ever after.